About ten years ago I began writing a novel entitled The Throwaway Year. It was during a time when I was filling up notebooks with short, experimental stories where I pushed my own boundaries in writing. But I felt that I wanted to explore writing something longer; a novel.
I began working on a story that, at the time, was my greatest piece of writing. The words poured from a source that I had never before tapped. The words were so inspired and the characters breathed with such life that as a reader you didn’t doubt for a moment that they went through every bit of joy and pain that any person you meet would.
I enjoyed their lives like a good soap opera and writing their story was a treat. I would go to work and write during my downtime and then when I got home I couldn’t wait to revisit them.
I was nearing the tail end of the story when I tried to pull it up and could only find the portion that I had saved from the previous workday. I was anxious to get back to work the next morning but there was no story, only the few paragraphs that I had typed the day before. I finally realized that I had overlayed the entire story and had not just attached it to the existing document.
When you lose something that important to you, you get this feeling as if the world is caving in. Your face falls into a broken piece of glass and your eyes blur with unshed tears. People ask you what is wrong and you can’t speak, they think someone has died. You don’t tell them that you have lost something so profoundly important that your life is now turned upside down. It’s a story. That’s what they think. Just a story. But it’s not. It was a piece of me that I lost.
Afterwards, I wasn’t able to write. When the urge to write came over me all I wanted was my characters and the ending to the journey that we had taken together. It wasn’t a matter of re-writing it because one doesn’t re-write the same story twice. How could I go backwards after I had watched these characters evolve?
And so for 2 years I would put writing behind me. The only thing I did was to collaborate with friends in MMORPGs and online groups. And then one day a woman in one of my groups told me about a website called Literotica and that I could read as many stories in the IR genre that my heart desired. And the rest is history.
Fast forward to 2013 when I revisited my beloved characters and their story. I decided that I would begin again, but it wouldn’t be the same story. They now had a new voice and I had evolved as a writer. Not to mean that I am a better writer—just a different one. So which story is better?
I don’t think I will ever know. My mind tells me that the first version was my masterpiece. My mind also tells me that this new story has elements in it that I would have never known to put in it 10 years ago and it makes it a better story. But truthfully, this is a question that I guess I will never know the answer to.
Hayden Michaels had given six years of her life to MyKell before he abruptly informs her that things hadn’t been “right” for a while and he had met someone else.
That is when Hayden finally opens her eyes and takes a good look around at her life and the mess that she was—financially, emotionally and physically. Never able to maintain enough discipline to put her mind to any difficult task, Hayden makes a bold decision; she will throw away an entire year of her life; moving towards her goals with no thought of pleasure or pain.
In this latest IR novel written by award winning author Pepper Pace, we are taken on a journey with Hayden as she tries to recreate herself with sometimes comical results. With the use of positive affirmations Hayden’s journey is a lesson to us all as she faces situations and people that help her to realize her worth—namely a man who has been written off by society. But the question becomes whether Hayden can accept the faults of someone else without allowing herself to fall back into her old ways? Warning: this story contains explicit language, sex, and descriptions of drug use.
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